Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
