my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
