I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
