I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
