im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize