That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
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