based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
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remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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