he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
