Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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