its not stalking. its research.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
