the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
