There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
