u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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