Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
