I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
