So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
not ubering you a puppy
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize