dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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