I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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