found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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