Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Me. At least after what I've been through.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
