Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
