Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
just tell him i said nine months
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
