stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
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You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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