i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
