i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize