I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
You work out of a Hotel?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
