Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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