i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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