3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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