How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
