So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
