Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
