"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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