ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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