would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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