I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
