you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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