I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
