the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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