What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
