Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
