After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
