You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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