but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
