As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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