"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
