She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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