i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
