youre lurking in front of me
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
last night I used snow as a chaser
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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