It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
