kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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