come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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