You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
