he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
