I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
