Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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