I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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