does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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