I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
