I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
