stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
