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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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• (631): View more from New York

  He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (314): View more from Missouri

  At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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• (707): View more from California

  OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.

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