so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.