I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
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I checked into jail on foursquare
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
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I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The feeling are messing with the penis
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.