is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..