Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.