i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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