Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
